RE: http://www.adaeveningnews.com/local/local_story_275170730.html

If I was a legislator in my district, I would:

- Introduce a child molestation bill that states the following:

* Positive childhood interactions with others is imparitive;

* Education distinguishing good touches from bad touches needs to be introduced as soon as a child responds to learning basic interactions from Mommy and Daddy;

* Verbal communication of malfunctions with friendships and interactions needs to be made acceptable for a child to express;

* The common excuse of "An abuser was once a victim" does not justify the life sentence a survivor has to carry. Is rehabilitation feasible? In Morrison's case, a possible life sentence is being recommended in the Pontotoc court.... I do not feel a life sentence is good enough for a person accused of this severe of a crime. Rehabilitation through counseling to find out why this person committed the crime in question is the answer.

* Educating the public about signs of sexual abuse in children is essential. This is not the 1950s anymore. One person advocating for a child's rights could save a life;

* Educating a survivor of feelings of ownership surrounding the molestation at the time and currently

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Arles was a good teenager in his early years. I always valued his friendship. It is hard to think of him as an abuser......

quote:

Originally posted by shedilbry:
Nobody deserves to have their life ruined by a child in this way.

No, no man deserves his life to be ruined by a child. Ome of my close guy friends is having charges of molestation filed against him in Pontotoc County. I was so lucky to have seen him over the weekend.

My friend was embarrassed to tell me his trouble. He probably thought I would think bad of him and that he had done the crime. Instead, I kept squeezing his hand and gave him a big hug. It tore me up inside. Since we were in a public place, I could not cry for him... but I did later.

I asked him directly, "Did you really do it? I don't believe you did." He looked at me and told me no, he did not. He had written a confession because everyone wanted him to... He wanted everything to go away (something I said about my own childhood case) and did not think he would be in trouble.

I do not believe this man committed the crime. He said I can pray for him, and that is what AM doing.

The biggest difficulty in addressing child molestation? People who don't believe the victims.

You can't rehabilitate sex offenders who prey on children. Keeping them away from kids is the only way to protect the community.

quote:

Originally posted by Call Me Aristotle:
The biggest difficulty in addressing child molestation? People who don't believe the victims.

In some cases, children do make up stories. It is sad to not believe a child's story.... However, we have to use good judgment in determining truth.

I still protect my abuser's memory even after all of these years. I was a child who lied about the true identity of my abuser. I was questioned for over 4 or 5 hours. I was tired of being questioned and just wanted it to go away. It took my mind 17 years to put the memories together. I was a newlywed at the time and let it ruin my marriage....

Maybe one day I will learn how to forgive myself.... I don't know.....

quote:

Originally posted by Call Me Aristotle:

You can't rehabilitate sex offenders who prey on children.

And if that sex offender is a child or teenager? Do we segregate him or her from society from his or her life?

You have to balance the desire to treat that offender as a "child" against the need to prevent that individual from creating future victims.

quote:

Originally posted by Call Me Aristotle:
You have to balance the desire to treat that offender as a "child" against the need to prevent that individual from creating future victims.

I have always wondered how many more victims my first abuser had. I will always see this person through a pair of child's eyes.

I have never wanted prison sentences for any of my abusers. Yes, they took pieces of me each time. God taught me how to love people early on. Maybe it is wrong of me to think this way. I was a friend to each of my abusers. I enjoyed hearing about their pasts and crying with them.

I want my abusers to have what I have finally found... I want the best for their lives. I do not want them to have to dwell on the past anymore - if they ever do.

One thing nobody will EVER take from me is my spirit. I now have bouncing energy levels and a passion to live again...

I have made peace with the abuse. I regret not telling anyone the real truth at the time. I know many people knew the truth and did not want the other person to get in trouble.

My abusers are now dead to me.... I am able to be the young vibrant laughing woman God wanted me to be.

quote:

Originally posted by shedilbry:
flame girl how do you know arlus? i'm just curious. i'm his sister. a lot of people might say i'm just defending him for that reason but no. he and i haven't spoken in over a year because of a separate personal issue between us.

Hello, shedilbry. I knew Arlus about 16 years from school. One of his first girlfriends was one of my friends.

I am sorry your brother and your family has had to go through this tragedy. I am glad you are defending Arlus despite your diffence.

I have not really been my energetic self all week after finding out about my friend. I have been crying at night and really weak. .. too weak to exercise all but two days this week. Last night my boyfriend sat me down and told me I was grieving the loss of a lover (even though we never were) and mourning the loss of his freedom. He listened to me cry and felt my pain, sadness, and heartache. He brought up Jack and Rose (The Titanic) where Rose had to let go of his physical presence but keep his memory forever...

I wanted so much more for my friend's life than a possible life sentence.... I wanted to teach him so much about life and living on his own.... We had so much fun talking to each other and losing track of time... Now it's gone... taken from us....

I am truly sorry for Arlus's situation. He was always a nice guy.

This message has been edited. Last edited by: Flame Girl,

I said a prayer for your family to heal, especially with you and Arlus. I am so glad you both are talking again.

I have strong faith that both cases will have happy endings. I wrote my friend and am waiting to hear how he doing is emotionally.

If you need a friend or a "shoulder to cry on," I will be here for you. You and your family have my prayers along with many others. Peace be with you.

I understand this guy is your friend and or your family member but with all due respect you were not there.
A jury found him guilty I have a hard time believing they would do that with no evidence. So what if he says he did not do it! What would you expect him to say? If he is guilty he deserves to have his balls cut off with a dull rusty pocket knife. There is such a thing as prison justice have any Idea what other inmates have been known to do with child molesters?

If he waived his right to a jury trial that was a foolish move on his part and on the part of his legal counsel.
When I say YOU weren’t their I mean when the Rape occurred not the court room. Like I stated before he was found guilty your opinion would be biased in favor of your family member (and whose wouldn’t be ). Even serial killers friends and family claim "they would never do that".

quote:

Originally posted by shedilbry:
there was no jury. so.... yeah. check up on your facts before you run your mouth next time.

Judges are a lot less likely to be swayed by emotion than juries. I'd put a lot more faith in a judge verdict than a jury verdict.

Rape is such a vile crime against any person......ANY person, regardless of age and regardless if they are male or female.

Over the weekend, we had 2 cases of rape come in.
The comment made about the nurse testifying 'in court' that there was NO evidence????? She CANNOT legally state that and is a liar!!!!!

How do I know???? As a 'SANE' (Sexual Abuse Nurse Examiner) we are qualified to COLLECT evidence and NOT INTERPRETE it.

This nurse.....or any nurse is UNABLE to determine if fluids obtained are from the victim or the perp. You obtain specimens, swabs, samples ONLY and this testamony should have been stricken from the record! The nurse cannot state that there was NO proof, No evidence and NO DNA.........only the biologist running test is able to identify what evidence has been found. So this nurse lied on the witness stand and should lose her license!!!!!!!

While I do agree that there are vengefull children out there......to totally discredit this child is why so many crimes of rape are not reported because of the attacks that are made on the victims!! I believe that Aristotle touched on this point.......thanks Aristotle!!

Flame touched on good points. I am also a victim of child rape. I was also threatened and told my family would be harmed, so I never told anyone. This sick person also harmed others and I have felt guilty about that all my life. Perhaps if I had said something, the others wouldn't have been hurt too???? But how could a 6 year old know?

One thing we must NOT do, is assume that this person is innocent just because we know them, the child is 'vengeful'.......ALL sides must be viewed without favor.

This man waived his rights.......Why????? I do believe that since we have 'strong' family/friend emotions here. I'm truly sorry for the pain these ppl are going through, but what about the victim and their family/friends??

Like Aristotle said......judges base their rulings on fact and juries on emotion.......something must have been proven here!

quote:

Originally posted by shedilbry:

and thank you flame girl. i sure hope things work out for both of us and our friends/families.

Thanks sweety.